Always hopeful yet discontent
R.I.P. Neil Peart
The recent news of Neil Peart's passing hit me pretty hard. He was the lyricist and drummer for the progressive rock band Rush, and a true inspiration to me. I feel like I lost one of my heroes. No, I have never played drums (or even wanted to), but his writing literally felt like it was written for me. I pored over his lyrics for years. I still do. I have always loved poetry, and his song lyrics were exactly that - poems set to music. I found it nearly unbelievable that someone could write with such beauty and depth, and then turn around and play drums like he had 8 arms.
You see, I came of age in the 80’s and Rush was “my” band at the time. I listened to it with my friends. We all talked about it. We dissected the lyrics and used our 16 year old brains to try and discern meaning. My first concert was Rush Signals as a freshman in high school. The cake for my 16th birthday party was a replica of the cover of 2112.
Sunset in Austin, TX
I remember first hearing Tom Sawyer and thinking how great the song was. Back then, I had to save up to buy a record so I dutifully did so and got myself Moving Pictures. It was amazing. Red Barchetta is still one of my favorite songs. Limelight is a masterpiece. The lyrics of Vital Signs are just mind-blowing. I knew right away this was not your typical rock-n-roll band. This was not party music. These guys had something to say! They were different - and I was hooked.
As I dove into their previous releases such as Permanent Waves and 2112, my respect and admiration for Neil’s writing and drumming (as well as the fantastic musicianship of Alex and Geddy) continued to blossom. While I do not consider myself any sort of poet, I have written quite a lot over the years and I really feel like my exposure to Rush lyrics is where it all began. I have a love of the written word, and I thank Neil for that.
There is one line in Tom Sawyer that I have always held dear. A little over halfway through the song, it appears:
“Always hopeful yet discontent”
At first blush, it’s just a continuing description of the character (at least the character in the song), and a line that helps carry that stanza forward, because it rhymes with the rest of the stanza.
“No his mind is not for rent
To any God or government.
Always hopeful, yet discontent
He knows changes aren’t permanent -
But change is.”
I suspect many people have passed it over, time and time again as they listen to and sing along with this classic, famous rock song. But for me it stuck, somewhere deep down inside.
Last light in Cannon Beach, OR
In some ways it has become a bit of a mantra to me. A quick phrase to urge me on, to push myself to be better, to grow and change and expand. It was descriptive to me - and of me. I’m eternally optimistic (hopeful), but not always happy with my current state (discontent). This was a perfect grouping of 4 little words that contain such big meaning for me. This one was etched into my memory from then on.
And this brings me back around to photography, which is really what my blog is “supposed” to be about. I often find myself feeling a bit discontent with my photography skills, but hopeful about what is coming, or perhaps what *could* come from my efforts. I push myself to do better, to be better, to learn, to grow, to expand my thinking and my reach. I just want to continue improving.
Sure I make videos every week about how to do this or how to do that with your photographs. Doing so makes it appear like I know “everything” about photography. But I don’t - not even close. Half the time I feel like a complete beginner. I get questions that I have absolutely no idea how to answer. I may not even understand the question at times. I have so much to learn, and so much growing to do. I’m just a guy that loves this stuff, and likes to shares tips and tricks to help others on their own creative path.
But I am hopeful and discontent. And I keep trying to figure it all out.
Sunset in Seattle, WA
Now just to clarify - being discontent does not mean that I am unhappy with my grasp of and accomplishments with photography in any way. Quite the contrary. I am rather excited and proud of everything I have done with my photography thus far. It’s just that I keep pushing myself to grow. I am discontent with being stale, or not moving forward with my art. There is so much more I can do, so much more I can learn. And so much more I can teach and share with the community. This phrase motivates me to keep pushing onwards, and looking upwards.
So I continue to invest in my photography, and keep trying to make myself better at it. After all, we are never done learning, unless we just choose to stop trying. And that is a choice I am not going to make. It’s just too interesting to stop. And I have a long way to go.
